I’m still on the lessons from the Esther in the Bible and this post is a continuation of yesterday’s post.
Lesson 5: Esther was not materialistic. She was not interested in her husband’s wealth. The king offered to give her half of his empire if she wanted it but acquiring wealth wasn’t her priority. Her priority was to bring joy and happiness to her people and to save them. She used her position as a queen to save her people from being destroyed and to destroy her enemy rather than use her position as queen to acquire wealth.
Don’t marry a man because of his wealth and status. Those things can fade any day. There’s nothing wrong in desiring to become rich but it shouldn’t be your priority in life and in your marriage.
Lesson 6: Maintain and preserve your sexual purity.
After Vashti had been banished from appearing before the king, the king’s advisers who were close to him suggested that a search be made to find some beautiful young virgins and Esther qualified to be among them. This implies that Esther maintained her sexual purity until she got married. She would have missed out on becoming the queen if she wasn’t a virgin. Keeping your virginity till marriage is such a priceless virtue. It doesn’t matter what others are saying or doing, choose to stand out. Don’t let anyone discourage you from maintaining your sexual purity. Don’t let anyone pressure, manipulate or lure you into sexual sin. Preserve your virginity till when you get married. It will be worth it in the end.
If you’ve already lost your virginity, don’t be discouraged. Don’t live in regret of your past actions and don’t let guilt overwhelm you. You cannot get your virginity back but you can start afresh on a new page of sexual purity. Acknowledge your mistakes, confess your sins to God and change from your past sinful lifestyle. Make a decision and resolution to maintain and preserve your sexual purity from now henceforth. It will still be worth it in the end.
Lesson 7: Take care of your appearance.
One of the first things that attract a man to a woman is her appearance. The king’s advisers advised him to organize a search for “some beautiful young virgins” (Esther 2:2). This implies that a woman appearance is also important when it comes to marriage. While in the royal palace, the young women who qualified to contest for the position of the queen were given a beauty treatment of massage and special diet.
As a woman, you should pay attention to your diet because your diet affects your physical appearance. You also need to take care of your body- keep your body clean always, wear nice clothes in a decent and modest way, take care of your hair, etc. This doesn’t mean that you should ‘dress to kill’. Dress in a presentable and decent way. Don’t go out looking shabbily or like a lunatic.
Still take care of your appearance when you are married. Whether you’re going out or staying at home, try to look good for yourself and for your husband. I’m sure he’ll appreciate it.
Lesson 8: Marry a man that loves you.
One of the characteristics of love is being considerate. King Ahasuerus was considerate of Esther’s feelings. He cared about her happiness and was willing to go to any extent to make sure that she was happy and comfortable.
When a man loves you, he will be considerate about your feelings. He won’t just do things that make him happy but will also be concerned about your happiness and comfort.
Another characteristic of love which the king displayed was being a listener. He listened to his wife’s burdens and concerns. When a man loves you, he will listen to your burdens and concerns.
King Ahasuerus was proud of his wife and was not ashamed to show her off to others. When Vashti was the queen, he was proud of her beauty and wanted to show off her beauty to his guests. When Esther became the queen, he gave a great banquet in her honour. He was proud of her and celebrated her in front of others.
When a man loves you, he will be proud of you and not ashamed of you. He will be happy to tell others and show you off to others.
That is to say, marry man that loves you. It is easier to submit to a man that loves you.
Lesson 9: Respect your husband.
There are certain things that anger a man and one of those things is disrespect. When Vashti disobeyed the king’s order and refused to come, the king became angry. Her action was considered an insult. Looking down on your husband and disrespecting him with either your words or actions can make your husband angry. Vashti lost her crown and husband because of this. There are certain actions that push husbands away from their wives. I am definitely against divorce, polygamy and unfaithfulness in a marriage no matter the circumstances. But even without divorce, polygamy and unfaithfulness, disrespecting your husband, looking down on your husband and making him angry deliberately/constantly can make him become distant from you in the marriage. He may still be there physically, but emotionally he will be withdrawn. Don’t push your husband away. Find out those things that he doesn’t like you doing, those things that anger him and avoid doing them. Also find out those things that make him happy and pleased with you and try to do them often. Be quick to apologize when you make him angry. Swallow your pride and save your marriage. Humility won’t kill you but pride and disrespect will definitely destroy your marriage.
Respect your husband at all times whether he is rich or poor.