I was once in relationship that I idolized. I was obsessed with him then and I idolized him.
An idol is anybody or thing that takes the place of God in our lives; anybody/thing that we depend on more than God; anybody/thing that takes our attention more than God; anybody/thing that we are more devoted to and focus on more than God.
And so for me, I felt I couldn’t live or survive without him. I was ready and actually made a few sacrifices and compromises to please him without caring that it didn’t please God. That is to say that I was more concerned about pleasing him even when it didn’t please God and I was more devoted to him than to God.
Few years ago, that relationship ended. It was one of the worst heartbreaks I’ve ever experienced. For many months after the relationship ended, I was still heartbroken. To make matters worse, one day, he decided to ignore all my calls and messages and this lasted for a period of 3 weeks.
After all we were not together again so what was the big deal right? The big deal was that I had idolized him and was obsessed with him so it was hard for me to move on. Despite all my pleadings and efforts, he didn’t respond to me throughout the 3 weeks. While I was still battling to let go, the story of Abraham’s test of faith in Genesis 22 helped me.
Genesis 22:2 says,
“Take your son,” God said, “your only son, Isaac, whom you love so much, and go to the land of Moriah. There on a mountain that I will show you, offer him as a sacrifice to me.” (GNB)
Please note that the underlined words are for emphasis.
Abraham was willing and ready to sacrifice his only son to God, the one whom he loved so much and I believe one of the reasons why he could do so was because although he cherished and loved Isaac so much, he didn’t allow Isaac to come in between him and God. He was willing to honour and obey God even if it meant letting go of someone he loved so much. He was willing to please God first before pleasing the one he loved so much.
This Scripture made me realize where I got it wrong in my past relationship and why I couldn’t let go of the only man I loved then even when I knew that he was hindering my spiritual growth and negatively affecting my relationship with God. One of the reasons why I couldn’t let go was because I had idolized him. I had turned him into my god and allowed him to take God’s place in my life.
Being in a relationship, getting married, loving your spouse/partner so much are not sins. Having a desire to be in a relationship or having a desire to get married is not a sin. It becomes a sin when you allow your spouse or partner to come in between you and God. When you begin to care less about pleasing God and care more about pleasing your spouse or partner, then you’ve idolized that person and idolatry is a sin. It becomes a sin when you begin to desire to get into a relationship or get married more than you desire to know God more.
This Scripture inspired me and made me to get to a point where I was willing to let go of my ex whether he will contact me again or not and whether God will restore the friendship or not. In Abraham’s case, he got his son back but it’s not every time you get back what you let go of. Yes! Sometimes you have to let it go forever for your own good. Perhaps if you go back to that person, and that friendship or relationship is restored, you’ll idolize them again and they’ll continue to hinder you from growing and moving forward or draw you back both spiritually and in other areas as well.
One thing is certain, you may not get back exactly what you let go of but you’ll definitely get something much better. Abraham let go of Isaac and got back Isaac and many more blessings from God. So whichever way it is, whether you get back what you let go of, or whether you don’t, you’ll still get something much better.
And so, I wasn’t just ready to let go but actually let him go. It was difficult at first but after a lot of prayers, time and efforts, I finally let go.
Did he contact me again? Yes, several times.
Did he try to rebuild our friendship? Yes.
Was our friendship or relationship restored? No.
Why? I was now ready to please God above pleasing him and I didn’t want to go back to the person I once idolized. I didn’t want to go back to the person I had made my god and allowed to take God’s place in my life. I didn’t want to go back to idolatry- to sin. I was ready to live a life of purity, holiness and obedience to God.
Although, I haven’t gotten into any relationship since then, I have no regrets about letting go of my ex forever because letting go of him is one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life. I’ve gained much more than what I lost; I now have a closer relationship with God, a closer relationship with my godly friends, an amazing writing ministry/career, a happy life free from depression and many more wonderful and amazing blessings.
That’s my story.
What about you? Who’s that person or thing that you’ve idolized and made your god? Who’s that person or thing that you feel you can’t live without? Who’s that person or thing that you’ve allowed to take God’s place in your life? Who’s that person or thing that has come in between you and God?
Is it your family member, friend or spouse? Is it your relationship or marriage? Is it your desire to be in a relationship or get married? Is it your phone, laptop or other gadgets? Is it social media and the internet? Is it your academics or job? Is it money or your personal goals and aspirations?
Most times, we tend to idolize somebody or something we love so much. Are you willing to sacrifice that person or thing for the sake of your relationship with God? If God asks you to give it up and let it go, can you? Will you?
When you let go of that ‘idol’, God will bless you with many more better things.
Final words: Genesis 22:2 is one Scripture that helped me to let go of someone I had idolized. It is a Scripture that helped me to move on from my ex and past relationship. This Scripture brought me to a point where I realized that God wanted me to let him go for my own good.
Perhaps you are going through a break up, heartbroken and have prayed and done everything trying to restore the relationship and it’s not working out. Maybe it’s time to let go. The relationship maybe restored in the future or it may not but still let it go. If it’s restored, it’ll be good for you. If it’s not restored, it’ll still be good for you. It could be that God didn’t restore that relationship so that you will remain focused on Him or so that you could get into a better relationship.
Sometimes letting go forever is for your own good.
Let no one, let nothing, take God’s place in your life.
P.S. Please note that letting go in the context of this article doesn’t necessarily imply cutting ties with someone or throwing away the object you’ve idolized. By letting go, I mean sacrificing the devotion (love, loyalty, affection and attachment) you have for the person/thing you’ve idolized and replacing it with your devotion to God. Letting go is a mental process and begins in the heart. And so, when I mention letting go, I’m first of all referring to putting God at the centre of your life and in some cases it might mean distancing yourself physically from the object of idolatry.