On 16th January, 2017, I was having a conversation with one of the staff in my place of work. During the conversation, he found out my age and was amazed that I was a graduate at such a young age. We continued our conversation and a point; he said that the next thing left for me to do is to get married, since I am a graduate and currently doing my NYSC.
Well, I disagreed with him. I can’t remember if he said the “next thing for me to do” or the “only thing left for me to do is to get married.” Whichever one he actually said, I still disagreed with him.
I desire to get married one day but to get married isn’t the next thing or only thing left for me to do after graduation. My priorities are different from what he expected; and one of my priorities is to have a source of income before I get married.
But he told me that it is not good for a woman who has not yet married to desire to have her own money and single women who have acquired their own wealth will not be submissive to their husbands. At that point, I lost interest in the conversation. He continued talking but my mind had travelled to distant lands. I couldn’t stand to have a conversation with someone who has that kind of mentality.
Submission is an imperishable quality, an ageless and unfading beauty which a woman cultivates and possesses. It is not a quality determined by her educational qualification, financial status, career or whatever she has achieved and accomplished in life. And so, a woman who is submissive will be submissive to her husband whether she is educated or uneducated, whether she is rich or poor and whether she has great achievements in life or not.
I’ve heard people say that most rich single women are still single because of their wealth or high educational qualification; and that men are intimidated by a woman’s wealth and success in life. And so, it is believed that a single woman should not be rich, have a high educational qualification or be influential so as not to scare off potential suitors. It is the expectation of many that a woman should get married before, during or immediately after obtaining her first degree. Her decision to further her studies beyond her first degree is considered as a threat to some people.
This mentality has hindered some women from dreaming big and having big goals and aspirations. Some women have had to forfeit their personal goals and dreams in life for fear of intimidating prospective and potential suitors.
It is true that SOME men are intimidated by a woman’s level of success but there are still men who support their wives’ big dreams and goals. There are men who encourage their wives to have bigger goals and dreams than they presently have.
I have goals and dreams [beyond self-sufficiency and financial stability] and any man who is intimidated by my goals and dreams doesn’t deserve me. I don’t care what society thinks or says about me, I will dream big and strive to achieve my goals, dreams and aspirations. I’m not going to give up on my dreams, goals and aspirations for fear of scaring off and intimidating potential suitors or for fear of what society will say about me.
I know that there is a man that will encourage and support me in achieving my dreams, goals and aspirations and in God’s timing, we will be brought together.
Final Words: Dear ladies, please don’t let anyone discourage you from dreaming big. Don’t let anyone kill and destroy your goals and aspirations in life. There will certainly be some men who will be intimidated by your success and achievements. But also remember that not every man will be intimidated by your success and achievements and any man who is intimidated doesn’t deserve you.
Dream big, pursue your goals and let those that want to be intimidated be. But don’t neglect your character while pursuing your goals and dreams.
Focus on your inner beauty and character as well. Work on yourself, become a better version of yourself in and out. It is your inner beauty and character that’ll attract and keep the right man. And so, pursue your dreams but also develop your inner beauty and character.
HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY!